One of the most frustrating things about this profession is that we live at the whims of the people who make arrangements to see us. One of the ways we attempt to have some control over that is by demanding deposits.
I never requested deposits until in one month I had three cancellations in a row- virtually every engagement I had planned that month cancelled on me. I hate cancellations. They really impede my ability to plan my budget. So I decided to start requesting deposits. Now some patrons simply won’t send deposits to companions because they believe the companion will not show up. But I think patrons should be a bit smarter about that. If they did their homework on the companions they were thinking about contacting, it would be simple enough to determine her likelihood of not showing up. Things that will help this process are:
Finding reviews or endorsements of a potential companion
Finding his/her blog
Finding places s/he may have posted (boards), and posting there to ask about her/his reputation
Engaging in a cyberconversation with her/him via email or on a message board
Speaking to her/him by phone
I know not all companions will speak with potential patrons via phone until they’ve established a rapport by email first (I am in that category). So to speak with some requires making a connection with each other by email, which will also allay fears of your companion not showing up.
A girlfriend of mine who posts here has requested deposits from the beginning, and has never thought twice about it. Occasionally, her patrons will send her the requested deposit and then never show up for their meeting. But at least she’s not left hanging with a nonrefundable plane ticket to someplace she’d never plan to go without having been requested to visit there, and her financial planning hasn’t been entirely thrown off.
All of us have cancellation policies that are pretty amenable.
The worst thing is having plans, and when trying to confirm, not hearing from a patron with whom you’ve developed a rapport. This makes me very sad personally because the warm and fuzzy feeling I had developed for my patron instantly turns sour and I am not likely to wish to ever see him (or her). (And requiring deposits doesn’t always help with this.)
For instance, I had recently been communicating with a seemingly sweet gentleman, whom I very much looked forward to meeting, and after sending him the method by which he should make his deposit, I never heard from him again. When I wrote to him to connect about our plans, and ask if he’d perhaps sent the deposit and I missed it, he sent a very brief email explaining that something had come up. If he had written to me as soon as he knew we wouldn’t meet, I would have retained a warm and fuzzy feeling for him. But as it played out, he clearly never had plans to cancel with me. Granted, he never sent a deposit, but I had planned my schedule around seeing him in another city, and made a few other plans to attend some meetings and catch up with friends in that city. Plus, isn’t it just common courtesy to keep someone in the picture?
So, my advice to anyone interested in meeting a companion: Don’t cancel. If you have to cancel, please be sure to let her know. Respect her time like you expect her to respect yours.
Holly
heathergfe
ainamontero
sitaradevi
Audrey Cain
Lauren Summerhill
Ninon Baccara
A lifestyle focused on the kindness and consideration of others is indeed trying in it’s own ways. This is one of the many reason I often compare it to priesthood.
I don’t think people realize how important their commitments are to our ability to live a comfortable lifestyle. Despite common hyperbole, even the most successful of ladies I know do not live in the lap of luxury. Most have simple lives (materialistically at least). Sudden changes can wreak havoc on a ladies well being.
I have always suggested meeting in my city before doing anything that would make a deposit an absolute necessity – to build an element of personal trust. If after getting to know me a suitor still doesn’t trust me I feel he frankly isn’t deserving of the devotion and amount of energy I would apply to them.
The truth of the matter is, BOTH parties are taking a chance, and if neither party is willing to apply some level of trust, things aren’t going to work out.
I’ve actually had some very kind cancellations. Where I was sent not just the deposit, but the full gift after he canceled as a show of good faith and apology. Of course I applied this to future considerations.
I always suggest to traveling individuals: make sure you have enough of a deposit to cover a local stay for however long you may be stranded in the city you are traveling to, as well as food and other such expenses. Prepare for the worst.
I do agree, that a sudden drop in communication is absolutely frustrating. This has been happening to me fairly often lately. It makes me second guess him, and myself. I would definitely have an incredibly hard time trusting that person after such poor treatment.
I hope people understand, that if you changed your mind, suddenly feel self conscious or whatever the case may be: voicing the problem is FAR more respectful than silence.
I truly expect to be treated in the same fashion one would treat a friend, because I expect no less of myself when forming a connection with a patron.
If I am treated as disposable, then he will quickly be forgotten in turn.
By: Lauren Summerhill on February 1, 2009
at 10:44 am
I would like to agree with the sentiments of both Holly and Lauren when it comes to requesting a deposit from a client. A man who has done his research prior to meeting a lady can learn about her reputation in this industry easily. He can find ways to feel comfortable in making a deposit and his deposit shows good faith to the lady that he is planning to meet. For me a deposit is important as it shows that my potential client is serious about meeting and enjoying my time and company.
By: sitaradevi on February 1, 2009
at 4:56 pm
It’s not just a matter of money, but time as well. Carving out and preparing for a particular amount of time with someone who drops everything at the last moment requires renummeration. Many businesses have cancellation policies in place for this reason.
A deposit isn’t “easy money” but a reminder of manners and obligations.
By: Audrey Cain on February 3, 2009
at 6:56 am
Audry has a very good point as well. I spend as much time, and frequently more, in correspondence before and after a date than the date itself takes. This time is spent getting to know a suitor, flirting, researching local restaurants and theater events the gent may be interested in – or if I am to travel to meet him, in making those arrangements both home and abroad.
To simply disappear once the necessary evils of compensation and screening are discussed smacks of poor intentions. I would be very unlikely to consider seeing a gent were he to contact me again after disappearing without a nonrefundable deposit in hand. Being treated with the same respect one would treat their doctor, lawyer, therapist, barista or golfing buddy is not too much to expect.
By: edriennecole on February 9, 2009
at 8:24 am
I am fairly “new”, however, I do implement a deposit for engagements over four hours. I can emphasize and understand how strenuous it is for us companions to get enthusiastic about meeting someone, and then for them to draw the carpet for under our feet, leaving us hanging . I would be highly upset myself, I won’t role out that I will never have a cancellation, but if it should occur often in a week or month, I would definitely start asking for deposits even if it is just for my hourly minimum. LOL
As Holly said in the previous post, patrons SHOULD do their homework on companions before making an initial contact as to not lead her on, thinking that he/she will go through with a planned engagement. Plus doing homework helps to weed out there bad apples from the bunch.
However, we as companions should understand also, that there are several companions who are dishonest and unfair with their dealings, and patrons can get a bit reluctant in such a circumstance. Given though, patrons should at least share their concerns before giving a companion the go ahead.
I am one who demands honesty and integrity in our communications, and if a patron is not willing to oblige my request, I see no reason for us to further communicate. After all, he’s entrusting me with is finances as I would be entrusting my safety in his care.
- NicholetteM
By: Nicholette Morgandy on April 18, 2009
at 2:54 pm
I would like to say something from a client’s perspective, and I hope that any prospective clients who read this, consider my words carefully, then take them to heart.
I do not accept the view that an appointment with a companion, is like an appointment with a lawyer, doctor, or any other professional. What a companion does for a client, goes far beyond what any other professional does! A companion does everything she can possibly think of, to make her client’s experience an unforgettable one – the professional ones do at least. Consideration for her efforts, time spent and especially for her selfless thoughtfulness, is what makes her so special – so different from all the others – that one in a million!
It is our DUTY as clients, to acknowledge and show our respect of our companion’s efforts more so, than if they were our lawyer or doctor, by ensuring that we can keep the time we book with her. In fact, once an appointment is made, she should be the most important commitment we have. The only excuse for canceling your commitment, is the death of someone important to you, or illness.
I put this to you: she is putting far more trust and faith in you, than you are in her. I am a most careful man. I check any potential companion as thoroughly as I can, and if I decide to approach her, it is because I am satisfied that she is the professional she avers that she is. Therefore, I prefer to show my trust and faith in her, by ensuring that she receives her consideration for her time, in FULL, at least one week in advance of the appointed time. Although I have not availed myself of the services of a companion for many years, as until recently I was married – prior to that, I only had to cancel one time, as a family member passed away unexpectedly. I contacted my chosen companion immediately, and asked her to keep the consideration for our next date, which we rescheduled at that time.
I also firmly believe, that we as clients, should take the time to learn all we can about our chosen companion and her likes and dislikes prior to our date, as her enjoyment and pleasure should be just as important to us, as ours is to her. Make no mistake gentlemen, if you want to get the most out of your experience, this is advice you would do well to heed! There are no shortcuts. Consider it an investment – the more you put into it, the greater the rewards. If you treat her with the greatest respect and most tender care, being a true gentleman at all times, your experience will be nothing short of utterly amazing – perhaps even mind-blowing! Does it not make sense? – the more your companion enjoys herself, the more you will!
How about it ladies? Let us men know how you feel about this.
By: Stephen on December 27, 2010
at 6:47 am